Priceless
by Psyromayniak
Summary: The short, yet amusing, tales of how Bakura torments Ryou. To be read like an Mastercard advert. WARNING! Contains Thiefshipping, law breaking and TORMENT! Rated T for Torment may contain YGOTAS refrences
1. Handcuffs

**Priceless**

**Handcuffs**

Handcuffs: £15

Whips and chains: £36

Getting Marik naked: two pints and a kiss

The look on Ryou's face when he wakes up: Priceless.


	2. Hangover

**Priceless**

**Hangover**

8 pints: £24

6 shots: £12

Bottle of Vodka: £18

Taxi home: £16

Ryou's hangover: priceless.


	3. Arrested

**Priceless**

**Arrested **

Knife: £6.50

Bail money: £52

Watching Ryou get arrested: priceless


	4. Engagement

**Priceless**

**Engagement **

2 matching engagement rings: stolen

Camcorder to video my 'proposal': also stolen

Helping to pick out a wedding dress: the longest 3hours of my life

Setting up the tv with the engagement video on a loop: 20mins

Ryou realizing he is going to get married to Marik: Priceless.


	5. Wedding

**Priceless**

**Wedding**

Wedding service: a vicar at knife point

Plane to Egypt: we stowed away

Seeing Marik's old 'house': hilarious

An all-nighter in the desert with Marik: a stolen Camel

Ryou waking up in the middle of no-where: priceless


	6. Bills

**Priceless**

**Bills**

Gas bill: £150

Electricity bill: £265

Water bill: £98

Phone bill: £329

Knowing Ryou pays these: priceless


	7. Stranded

**Priceless**

**Stranded**

One way flight to Russia: £605

Lighter: £1.23

Watching Ryou's passport burn: 5 mins

Icelandic volcano: good timing

Leaving Ryou stranded in Russia: priceless


	8. Vertigo

**Priceless**

**Vertigo **

Sky diving: murder and impersonation

Hand gliding: stolen

Wing walking: 'borrowing' a bi-plane

Mountain climbing: a good weekend

Knowing Ryou is afraid of heights: priceless


	9. Movies

**Priceless**

**Movies **

Popcorn: £2.50

Large Coke: £1.50

Adult film ticket: £7.25

3D glasses: an extra F*CKING HOW MUCH!?

Making Ryou sit through the bloodiest, most gruesome horror film I can get my hands on IN 3-D! : Priceless


	10. Pain

**Priceless**

**Pain **

Tattoo: £80

Scarification: £120

Piercings: £35

Making Ryou endure these: Priceless


	11. Fatigue

**Priceless**

**Fatigue **

6 cans of Red Bull: five figure discount

Extremely loud death metal: limewire

Playing Left 4 Dead all night: a sacrificed evening

Getting no sleep whatsoever: practise

Knowing Ryou has school in the morning: Priceless


	12. Facebook

**Priceless**

**Facebook **

Hacking onto Ryou's pc: 5 mins

Hacking onto Ryou's Facebook account: 2 mins

Posting pictures of last night with Marik: 15 mins

Changing _everything _possible: a laughable 30 mins with Marik

Watching Ryou log on that evening: Priceless!

**AN: Hi, all =) I really appreciate all the support I'm getting for this fic, but I seem to be running out of tormentment ideas! You see, I want to do 20 chapters, and then write the back stories... so, if you have any ideas, review or PM me. **

**One minor rule: you can't kill Ryou, or do anything that directly effects Bakura =) **

**xxx Xezbeth xxx**


	13. Lolita

**Priceless**

**Lolita **

Lolita outfits: £125

Lock pick: £4.99

Hidden cameras: £57

Stealing all of Ryou's clothes and burning them: half an hour

Replacing them with said Lolita outfits: 15 mins

Emailing the pictures of Ryou dressed in Lolita to all of his contacts: Priceless

**With great thanks to ****Yuri n' Chuka ****for the idea and storyline for this, I am in your debt *bows head appreciatively***

**If, like I did, you don't know what Lolita is, either google-image it or follow this link!**

/fanplusfriend/c1/Cute_Lolita_Maiden_Outfit_6_Pieces_C00225_


	14. Sauna

**Priceless**

**Sauna **

Spa pass: £68

Hot pink Barbie towel: £15

Pink hair-ribbons: £3.99

Leaving Ryou in an all male sauna, wearing the towel and ribbons: Priceless

**With thanks to **TOD ZUYO **for the idea for this chapter, I am in your debt as well!**

**And can you even get 'Spa Passes'? oh well ;-)**


	15. Exams

**Priceless**

**Exams **

Syringe: £1.50

Fountain pen: £4.99

A willing Marik: promise of an ice-cream

Writing random crap on Ryou's GCSE papers in blood: Priceless

**Thanks to Lupa Dracolis for 'Bakura taking over during an exam'. Wow, I really need to start thinking for myself for a bit =) **


	16. Security Gate

**Priceless**

**Security Gates **

Floor-length leather jacket: £150

Sunglasses: £5.99

Multiple guns: _acquired _

Even more knives: from the store-room

Letting Ryou walk through the security gate: priceless

**Yay! Did this one by myself (not that I don't appreciate your help.....) **


	17. Hair Dye

**Priceless**

**Hair Dye **

_Permanent_ Fluorescent pink hair dye: £13.79

Emptying the shampoo bottle: 5 mins

Knowing Ryou has a shower _every _morning: Priceless

**This spawned from **SkaleFlapper15**'s idea of 'Shaving Ryou's head while he's asleep' **

**Thank you everyone for the fantabulous reviews =)**

**xxx Xezbeth xxx**


	18. Work Experience

**Priceless**

**Work Experience **

Tippex: £3.99

Changing Ryou's Work experience form: 3 minuets

Getting a place at the local pet shop: making everyone else _unavailable _

Watching Ryou prance around in a kitten costume: Priceless

**With thanks to **Fallen Crystal Moon **for the idea for this one xx**


	19. Homework

**Priceless**

**Homework **

Getting ideas: some good nights in with Marik

Writing Class: £5.60

Reading bad fan fiction: a painful 2 hours

Writing graphic yaoi on Ryou's Homework: priceless

**Thanks to **KATZUNITED-MEOW **for the idea behind this! xx**


	20. Fan Art

**Priceless**

**Fan Art**

Printer: £50

Full colour ink: £12

Blu-tack: £2.99

Sticking up graphic yaoi theifshipping fan art around school: Priceless

_There are some things money can't buy. For everything else, there's  
thiefshipping._

**This, being chapter 20, is the last chapter in this fic. I will now be writing the back-stories to these, entitled 'Bakura's Tales Of Torment'**

**The idea for this was slightly inspired by **KATZUNITED-MEOW **and the last sentence, 'there are some things money can't buy...' was given to me by **LadyBlackwell**, I thank you both, and everyone else who read these and gave me ideas!**

**I hope you enjoyed reading this fic, and I hope you will like the back-stories too!**

**xxx Xezbeth xxx**


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